Emotions.....Why?

I am feeling very blasé lately.

My emotions have taken over and I do not feel very well….mentally. I an not sure why, just cannot stop crying for no reason and thinking about people who are not around. I cry at the drop of a hat, and am not sure why I am even crying. Movies….songs……hell, comercialls right now make me tear up and have to wipe my eyes.

What makes this all even more strange, is EVERYTHING is going great. I have the best wife who I love with all of my heart and cherish every single second that I spend with her. I am so proud of her, she has taken her new job and run with it….to the point the company big-wigs know who she is and that she is working her butt off. She organized her companies “Relay for Life” team (relay for life is a overnight event that raised money and showed support for cancer survivors---which I am for five years now!!!!!) and did just an AMAZING job with. It made me so proud to see her work so hard for me (and a couple other family member that had cancer) and show her support for me….IT WAS JUST AMAZING!!!!

I have a good job that I like, but still continue to look for something bigger and better. We have medical insurance (through my job) and we are beginning fertility testing next week to try and have a baby (can you imagine ME as a father??? I know….SCARY!).

But still, there is something missing that is making me so emotional.

I miss Robby.

We did everything together and I think if he was still with us, he would have moved up to Oregon when my wife and I moved up here. I honestly believe he would have followed us up here to start his life over and get away from all he (didn’t) have down in California. He was my bud! We used to joke that he was going to be the first “supreme emperor” of the United States and I was going to write his speeches. Exactly how would I have worded, “I am the all knowing king of the US and you are all my subjects,” in a way that sounded like it was the right thing for everyone in the country? We would laugh and shared (most) everything between us. I just realized how much I really miss him and his friendship……I also can’t believe it still hurts after all these (almost eight??) years.

Emotions are a strange thing. You never know when they are going to take over your mental state.

Sorry....just babbling.